Days like these usually start out on the right foot. Wake up, kiss the husband goodbye, scramble eggs and cook turkey bacon. Pop a few slices of bread in the toaster. Brew a pot of coffee. The kids take turns saying a blessing and thank God for each other and we enjoy our breakfast at the table as a family. Read a devotional while the kids play awhile. Check the posts on (in)courage. Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter. Then...
Madison (yelling) : "MOM!! JORDAN TOLD ME TO SHUT UP!"
Jordan (yelling) : "NO I DIDN'T! LIAR!"
Me (yelling) : "STOP BEING UGLY TO EACH OTHER! DON'T TELL YOUR SISTER TO SHUT UP! LEAVE YOUR BROTHER ALONE! GO TO YOUR ROOMS!"
Both (protesting) : "THAT'S NOT FAIR!" "I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING!" ... Why are they always yelling? Wait... What? Why am I always yelling? Maybe that's why they're yelling at each other... I just don't understand why they always have to yell... Why can't we all just get along?
Sound familiar? Surely, if you're a mother, you've been in this situation before. Your blissful coffee-and- scripture-filled morning suddenly becomes the scene of a battle, and even after the yelling stops and the kids forget why they were mad at each other in the first place, no matter how loud you turn up the volume on that Kari Jobe song you love so much, you can still hear the sound of your conscience nagging you.
You said you wouldn't yell at the kids anymore, didn't you? You're such a failure... so impatient, so imperfect... what kind of mother are you?
The human kind. The kind who makes mistakes, who will make plenty more before her children are grown. The kind who sometimes yells when she shouldn't, and knows she's done wrong and feels like she'll never be as patient or soft-spoken as she should be.
Fear not, there is hope for you yet. Joyce Meyer says "If you've made mistakes, don't spend half the day beating yourself up. Sincerely repent and go on." Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord. - Acts 3:19 (NIV)
Sincerely repent and go on. Be refreshed.
If you truly recognize your mistakes and repent, don't worry about a thing... God's got this. God's got you. You're already forgiven. That's the wonderful thing about God's grace. We're covered in it always. Not just on good days, but on days like these, too.